Weds 23rd July
Cigarettes 27
Drugs 1x Valium and 1x anti depressant
Food intake 1x bowl of muesli, 1 x slice of toast 5x grapes 5x cans diet coke
It's been 7 days since the man I loved pinned me down, spat in my face and in doing so kneed me in the face causing a rather spectacular shiner.
I'm fucking livid over the whole debarcle
Iv spent the last week richoceting between uncontrollable anger and dark deep despair!
I'm not going to go into vivid detail of the whole incident in this entry because quite frankly I am boring the shit out of myself talking about it but the upshot of it is he has moved out of my house and under bail conditions not to contact me.
Today is day 7. It's been quite shit to be honest. The suns pissing me off for a start. I want it to be raining and miserable so I can lie on the sofa staring at the telly pretending to watch it and looking dramatic and forlorn out of the window with a depressing musical overlude playing. Instead I can't seem to control the urge to tidy the fucking house.
Iv never had a tidy house. It's always been sort of chaos on account of my busy hectic lifestyle of being fabulous. But then I moved my fella in and while I failed miserably at being a domestic goddess while he was here, now he's gone I can't stop fucking hoovering.
Something has gone drastically wrong In my life.
This is not the first time he has been arrested for assaulting me. And I am damn fucking sure he's put his hands on my for the last time. However there is some sort of gremlin in my stomach whispering "you miss him!" Everytime I have a quiet moment. Which today has been a lot. The proper singlegalabto would have dismissed that gremlin as a pathetic whiney gobshite yet somehow I have become said pathetic whiney gobshite. Must stop being a fanny with immediate effect.
Xxx
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