Wake me up when September ends

After a glorious summer off I have decided to throw a little blog out there!!

First thing to know is I absolutely smashed the shit out of my uni course, I got a first and now I will be starting a full time Law degree at the university of Liverpool on September 19th... THIS IS A FUCKING MASSIVELY BIG DEAL!

Over the summer I got my head in some serious law books... already being a student I have access to the reading lists and library so I decided to give myself a head start on all those young whippersnappers who are probably still lying in a pool of their own vomit after discovering 24hour licensing and 241 shots...as we all did. I had a look at the forthcoming modules... there's quite a few assignments, about 5 or so exams and a presentation (woohooo, one loves a fucking audience)... so I have to admit I have been feeling quietly confident about the whole thing... until now.

IM FUCKING BRICKING IT

Modules say I should be doing about 40 hours a week private study by myself. I also have to work 16 hours in my (what will hereafter be referred to as my) Saturday job, in addition to bringing up a 9 year old and maintaining a house singlehanded. Quite frankly it is starting to sound a little daunting. I have therefore come up with a few little ground rules for myself which will hopefully help me to keep on top of things.
 1. I will complete my reading as and when I get it and also make a point of finding at least 5 extra sources to reference, even if I only read a sentence of each 5 said sources. Its all about the wider reading
 2. I will only go out drinking once per month and I will not consume any illegal substances that may lead to one night out becoming a bender spanning several days.
 3. I will only shag a MAXIMUM of 3 fitties. 
4. Said fitties will NOT be in my class and preferably will not be studying law. Lesson 5009 = Don't shit where you eat.
 5. I will get up at 5.30am on a Tuesday and Thursday to do housework
 6. When rule number 5 inevitably doesn't happen I will employ a cleaner having already set aside £2000 for "household maintenance" which I defo defo believe a cleaner comes under that umbrella
7. I will not enter the Krazyhouse or any other known dive at any point whatsoever no matter how much they try and make me.
8. I will maintain my monthly adventures out into the countryside to ensure rest and relaxation in none alcoholic form.
9. I will not stay overnight in any form of halls of residence and it doesn't matter how big the occupants cock is.
10. I WILL NOT SHAG MY EX BOYFRIEND.

I believe armed with these crucial guidelines will give me the best chance of success. I want a first class degree, I am just throwing that out there now. A scientist guy a few months ago told me he disagreed it was possible to get a first in law, very few manage it. I binned him off shortly after that conversation as his negativity was astounding and this guy was researching a cure for fucking cancer so I don't hold out much hope for that happening any time soon with downers like that on the case. Tit. I am really in one of those I know where I am going, I know how to make it happen so you are either by my side or in my fucking way sort of frame of mind. I have made the executive decision to do my first year single. Tough decision but the right one. The last thing I need right now is a fucking passenger. Having said that Lawyer boyfriends ARE permitted so long as they are successful and can inspire and educate me. Seems reasonable to me.

I have included the last rule as an afterthought. Having successfully avoided that situation since JUNE(!!!) I had a marginal wobble this evening and almost called him...like, the phone was in my hand, and I was in contacts, and then I burst into tears. This has not happened for a while and I feel  little better now but as we are fully aware dear readers I am ever so slightly unhinged from time to time and this could well be the start of the slippery slope again. I don't even know why any more. Its been 2 years now since the main horrendousness and still it is sad to say that no one has come close to him and how in love I was(probably still am). Looking rationally though this probably speaks volumes about the drastically poor quality of dudes I have come across SINCE him rather than the quality of him himself. I have chalked this blip tonight down to mental retardation and will defo be discussing it with my therapist tomorrow.

Yes, you heard me correctly, I have a therapist now!

Hurraaaaah I hear you cry! Finally some professional help for this psychopath! This is my third therapist to be honest. My first was treating me for PTSD due to violent incidents but as I was still in the relationship and experiencing it at the time it wasn't really very helpful. I also had a domestic violence therapist who came out to my house every week in the weeks after the final incident which, while very helpful, was during the single most traumatic period of my life and therefore was more to help me get through it rather than look at my long term recovery. Lest we forget domestic violence is the tip of the iceberg of issues... I am crackers enough on my own. So yes I know have a therapist who I will be speaking to during a stableish period and will hopefully equip me with the normal life skills that people without my problems already have... (well allegedly have, some of you are just as fucked as me from what I can see!).

That's all for now! Expect a psychotic episode to kick in round about November when I am bollocks deep in uni work and begging for mercy!

xxx