Well dearest readers, 2016 has taken a rather unexpected turn. With the events of the past couple of months almost driving me to suicide, coupled with the fact that Mercury is currently in retrograde until 25th Jan (astrology shit, means life normally goes tits up), it would have been the obvious conclusion that life may have continued on a downward spiral for me for the foreseeable. Instead, and I have no idea why, but life has got fucking boss!!!!!
My mojo returned a few days after new year. I woke up one morning feeling like I could take on the world. My first victory was with that god damn emergency plumbing service. I called them, I fumed, and was given £150quid compensation for my inconvenience. I'm not sure that fully compensates for my having to stay at my mothers to get warm but nonetheless I was happy to accept.
Daddy dearest also stumped up the cash for a brand new boiler and 6 new radiators ensuring toasty warmth forever more.
My second victory was breaking the back of my uni prep for next semester. I was overjoyed to discover I got my choices and have been dutifully swotting up on all my reading. The absolute best part is in September when I start my law degree, I have got my student finance all worked out, and it turns out with the student loan plus the 3, yes count them 3 bursary's I am eligible for.... I... WON'T.... HAVE..... TO..... WORK..... lets take a moment to let that sink in....oh god it's just bloody marvellous. In fact, I have some shares maturing in June.... I could actually probably afford to sack it off TODAY and be alright. I'm not getting too crazy though. I have decided that if I continue to work (which I will be able to as the law department tell me the degree is only 8-12hours a week in uni time) I will be able to save up and graduate with a decent amount of dollar behind me. I'll be cutting down to 16hours though. Decided to see which way the wind blows. I'll carry on working, see how it goes. But the idea of not HAVING to work is pretty bloody liberating. I am aware there will be lots of UNI work involved but I am a single working parent. Juggling comes second nature to me.
Even work has got fucking boss! I went back last week after having some time off over the Christmas period....and my birthday...a month, I had a month off but it was for recuperation purposes alright. Anyway.... it was grand! I work with some of the funniest, kindest people I've ever met and I am so grateful to them all for being absolute belters. Endless laughter and wind ups. Just what you need in the workplace!
I got a photo in the post off Prince Harry today. The best thing I have ever received through the post. I wrote to him for a laugh a week ago and told him I thought his hair was awesome and I got this note back today thanking me for my kind words and wishing me the best for 2016 with a photo of him looking all rugged. He clearly wants my arse and who can blame him.
Oh and I got laid. Not by my ex boyfriend either (WHO by the way I have hardly thought about the last few days. And when I tell you he has not been off my mind in 4 years I can assure you this is a major fucking turning point). I won't go too much into it but cut a long story short I got taken for dinner to the Vincent, wined and dined, had a few old fashioned's in Berry and Rye and then back to A Hard Day's Night hotel for what can only be described as porn star sex. I experienced my very first ever multiple orgasm through actual sex which has never ever happened to me before in my whole life and I actually had assumed was mythical until now. This dude has some magical fucking skills. I don't know what's happened recently. When I split with Ash it took me ages to build myself up to sleeping with someone else again. I was suffering from a severe case of penis fear. Now however, it appears I am totally cured and this slag is back on form and back on the cock. Epic. Not that I am going to go around bouncing on every shlong on offer you understand. While it is true when one is blessed with a 32FF chest and a thigh gap there is no shortage of shaggage on offer, I have decided to pace myself. Quite happy with the current one for the moment, but I am not getting birded up again. Uni comes first, then my son (sorry lad but mama's got to get the degree to get us the good life, you can tie your own shoes, mwah), then my health/fitness/yoga - which I have signed up to do a 30 day yoga detox thing which I am most looking forward to as I think I could really do with toning down the crazy - and then any spare time after that will be filled wall to wall with cock.
Absolutely bloody marvellous plan.
So that's all from me. Stay tuned as no doubt everything will go tits up again, but for now I am one happy camper. Everything is going great and not a bellend in sight. Excellent.
Life Hack: Do no wrong, but take no shit. And everything will be wonderful xx
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