I am a firm believer in the law of attraction and if you focus on something hard enough it manifests itself. Iv found this to be most effective when I am at my most emotional, like the universe is more in tune with my signals or some shit.
Christmas was great, quiet but great, saw the family and ate myself into oblivion. The news was dominated by the terrible floods that have been going on and I found myself feeling deeply sorry for everyone involved and wondering what it would be like if we got flooded. Toyed with the idea of buying a dinghy just in case I had to sail to the shops or something.
I came home from my mums yesterday and started my new year sort out. Blitzed the baby's room and made space for all his new toys. Then today I went in and discovered that his radiator had got a hole in it and his floor was an inch deep with water.
I manifested myself a fucking flood.
Can you believe this shit? I actually laughed at the irony. So I phoned my dad who was away at a family gathering I hadn't been invited to (another story), phoned the baby's dad who was out meeting fucking Everton players. I phoned my home emergency cover people who were very sympathetic and said they would send someone out FUCKING TOMORROW. Phoned my plumber who informed me he wasn't working today and even if I could get a plumber out it would cost a fortune as it's Christmas. And then I phoned united utilities who wouldn't even answer the phone as they are busy with the FUCKING FLOODS.
Then I cried
Then I text my ex boyfriend.
He called me. And It felt so fucking good to hear his voice at this time of despair. He made me laugh. And then He spoke about new stuff he has in his life that I didn't know about which felt like a dagger to the heart. I miss him every day. I KNOW I need to shut this down and I'm wondering if my heightened emotional state is actually being caused by him rather than eased. Just like a pill. Instead of making me better you are making me ill. Seriously it's like being an addict. You know it's bad but the slightest knock and you are right back on the bad stuff craving another hit.
I KNOW ITS RIDICULOUS YOU DONT HAVE TO TELL ME THIS
I just really am fucking in love with the prick and I'm not sure I will ever not be in love with him.
Anyway back to the flood
I can't turn the water off because I have no stop cock in my house. I found what I thought was the stop cock but it turns out I had in fact turned off the gas which explains why it didn't stop the water. Buy your own house they said! Itl be great they said! Fuck this shit I'm selling up and renting. You know I just don't feel like enough of a grown up to deal with this. Life requires skills I simply do not have.
I have plugged the hole with some stuff and have stuck a load of industrial tape over the whole thing which has reduced the gushing to a small droplet situation. I have resigned myself to the fact I am going to be up all night monitoring the situation until the "EMERGENCY" plumber comes tomorrow. Also my heating is making a weird noise which I think may be because I turned the gas off. Ah yes, I just checked and the pilot light was out. Which it would be. As I turned off the fucking gas. MORON!!!
Seriously why me?!!! And why am I such a fucking moron?!!
Apparently I can turn the water off at the mains but Iv looked at it and it needs some sort of tool which I don't have because I'm a girl.
I am fully damsel in distress right now. When sinead Oconnor was having that melt down the other week, that's how I feel right now! Fully mental! Life needs to back off!!!
When this mini drama is over I am going to sort my shit out.
The ex has got to go. I thought I could repurpose him into some sort of I don't know friend situation but no, it's too hard and I just want to rip his clothes off and fuck the living day lights out of him. Bad man equals best sex of my life. What a shitter. You can not be friends with someone you have been in love with. Or still are in love with.
I realised I think he's the only person Iv ever loved. I think he's my mr big. Why's my mr big got to be such a big prick. Sort your shit out immediately!!
Christmas fuck buddy has been Christmas fucked off too. I had a series of 4 middle of the night phone calls like 5 nights in a row over Xmas. And 2 texts saying "I love you".
No
I am cultivating someone brand spanking new. Well he was on the back burner last summer but now Iv brought him back to the boil. This one has potential. He's a proper actual grown up man with his own company and a hot body and a vroomy car. And who's idea of a date involves cocktails and mood lighting. I deserve mood fucking lighting!!!!!! The last date I went on involved bowling and a Maccies on the way home. I mean seriously, what the fuck is that?
New Years resolution. Sort my shit out. No more "going nowhere" guys. I need rescuing here, not yet another anchor around my neck. The next one will need to be university educated with a higher tax bracket salary and own abode and means of transportation. I am not taking in any more strays.
Right, that's it from flood watch. Soggy and not in the good way. I'm going to try and use the law of attraction to attract some decent shit into my life. It clearly fucking works
Merry Christmas ya filthy animals
Xxx
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