Friday, 20 May 2016

A day in the life of a bipolar student single parent

Good evening my lovelies!

Having managed to complete the rest of my uni work today I am officially FREE to have a life once more! The last few months have been absolutely crazy and I decided last night I was going to get everything done today so I could enjoy my weekend without that "you should be doing work" guilty thought in the back of my mind. I put my 9 year old son to bed early last night with the intention of having an early night myself so I could be up fresh as a daisy and raring to go this morning. Unfortunately I got side tracked with a WhatsApp convo (as ya do) and so didn't end up going to sleep until past midnight....

TODAY

6.30am: Am rudely awoken by someone standing on my head. It's my son. His early night meant he was up at the crack of dawn and he had come into my room to get his ipad which was next to me charging. He apologised, I fumed.

7.30am: Still zombiefied I realise with horror I am going to have to get up. Order son to get washed and dressed. Son informs me his school shirt needs ironing. I fume

7.35am ironed shirt with one eye shut

7.40am throwing miscellaneous food items into sons lunch box. God knows what he ate

8am: half heartedly had a shower... basically got in, got wet, got out. Look like shit

8.15am son demands cocoa pops. I don't have any cocoa pops. give him toast. he fumes, I fume and tell him about the starving kids in Africa etc. realise I sound like my mother. I fume some more

8.30am I pack car up with 9 library books I needed to take back, folders, shepherd son into car

8.40am driving to drop son off at school. son has decided to wear a trilby hat. explain to son that he cant take it to school. he fumes. I fume. forcibly remove hat from son as he vacates the car. he informs me I have ruined his life.

8.45am Mother duties have ceased until 3.15pm and I am free to morph from parent to student

8.50am realise with horror its my half sisters birthday tomorrow. leg it to asda to purchase birthday card

9.00am realise have left phone at home which contains sisters postcode. fume. have to return home to get it.

9.10am retrieve phone from home. address birthday card. drive round the corner to the post box. it says "collection 9am" on it. fume

9.20am back at asda to post birthday card. collection is 3pm. sound. I can set off to be a student now

9.30am I am on the road to uni. drive is horrendous. traffic everywhere. soon as I park it starts to rain. fume.

9.50am arrive at Sydney jones library. place looks like a shelter for the homeless. students are sitting everywhere. at the desks, on the floor, some have spent the night there and slept on the floor. THERE ARE NO AVAILABLE DESKS. fume

10.15am after wandering around the library helplessly looking for a place to park I eventually find a free desk on the second floor. I collapse in a heap. I have still got my coat on from the rain and the library is boiling. fume

10.25am a whole HOUR behind schedule I begin to work. the dream of finishing everything today is slipping away and I quite frankly cant be arsed to do anything.

10.30am japenese girl sitting 2 desks away keeps sneezing and making a sound that is similar to a woodpigeon only louder. economics student sat opposite me gives me a knowing raised eyebrow.

11am decide I cant be arsed doing any more on my philosophy essay and turn it in as is. selects print, am informed I only have 18p printer credit left. have to purchase more. fume

11.10am first assignment is printed and completed. now onto history

11.15am thought my history was almost done but it turns out by almost done I meant I had to write an intro and conclusion. fume. have to read whole essay to remember what the fuck it was I was banging on about. read email from tutor suggesting I include a reference to some book that I can find in the library. glance sadly at my pile of 9 books I have already and go off in search of book number 10.

11.25 book number 10 is located in a "silent" study area. I walk in, my Pandora bracelet rattles, everyone turns to look at me with hell in their eyes. I silently apologise and scuttle off to find my book.

11.28 CANT FIND SODDING BOOK

11.30 book located. silently creep back through the angry silent students and go back to the second floor

11.40am realise book is about women in the nineteenth century being put in lunatic asylums if they exhibited sexual desire. ponder if I should be in a lunatic asylum. decide yes probably

11.45am sneezing japenese girl 2 desks down in tears.

11.50am I WANT TO FUCKING DIE

1pm decide history essay will just have to fucking do, I cant be arsed with it anymore. print off, submit, 2 down, 1 to go

1.10pm open English essay

1.11pm open email from English lecturer with some feedback on the draft I sent him. "this really gets into it's stride from page 3 onwards"... translation, pages 1 and 2 are shit. fume

1.20pm wonder how my life ever got to the point were I was comparing a story about how a german prisoner was anally raped to death by british soldiers I. world war one with Jekyll and hyde.

2.30pm ready to hunt down the person who invented MHRA referencing and anally rape him to death

2.40pm Fuck it, it's getting submitted

2.45pm almost fall down the stairs trying to carry 10 books back to the hand in bit

2.50pm offloaded all the books, off to the office to hand in the hard copies of my essays

2.55pm JOY! RAPTURE! I'M DONE!!! See mate from course in office. she is just beginning her essay today and still has a full other one to do. I wish her the best of british luck and thank god that's not me

3pm Feeling smug. upload smug facebook status

3.15pm arrive to pick son up from school having accidentally cut up a taxi on the drive up. could see drivier going mental in my mirror. I am too exhausted to give a shit so pretend I have not seen him

3.16pm son informs me an older kid has been picking on him today. son asked bigger kid "haven't you got a life or mates your own age?"... bigger kid then decked son. proud of son for being a gobby little bastard. puts "must speak to teacher" on next weeks list.

3.30pm arrive home, house looks like ive been burgled. it hasn't I just haven't been arsed to tidy up

3.35pm sit on couch to watch telly. son attacking me with a light sabre wanting to play. make half arsed swooshing sounds while watching the rest of Marcella

4pm son asks whats for tea. I tell him sweet and sour chicken. son fumes. I reiterate starving kids in Africa line. I fume

5pm make tea, chicken smells funny. its in date but it smells funny. cook it anyway. rice is done, debate risking salmonella but at the last minute decide against it and knock up a quick chilli instead to go with the rice. fume that I have wasted chicken and sweet and sour and think about the starving kids in Africa

5.30pm lengthy phonecall with uni mate. am informed of several bits of juicy gossip. get over exicited

7pm inform son we are going to have fun this weekend. offer to take him either to the pictures, bowling, or to that play factore in manc. he wants to do all 3. I tell him we can't do all 3 and he needs to pick one. he fumes. I, being shattered, kick right off and call him a right ungrateful little brat and send him to his room

7.30pm text from son.. "I'm so sorry mummy I love you"... feel guilty for fuming

8pm watch easties, think Stacey looks gorgeous...think bobby beales a right little cunt and I would love to smash him over the head with a hockey stick

8.30pm decide we are still hungry so go to maccies. they give me chicken nuggets instead of cheese bites and a medium drink instead of a large. fume inwardly to myself as haven't the energy to pick a battle with a maccies employee

9pm retire to bed, feeling stressed but accomplished

So that's it!! all my work is done and I am looking forward to a few months peace and quiet before the mayhem starts in September!

PS, I fully understand this blog is not grammatically correct, full of spelling mistakes and there is barely a capital letter in it. fucking sue me xxx




Wednesday, 4 May 2016

Almost there!!!

It's been a little while since I last babbled on so I thought I would write a little blog this evening!

First of all....I'm just going to say it... I am fucking proud of myself.

This time last year I had a vague idea that I fancied going to uni. Today I have just completed one of my final assessments which was a debate and I have just 3 more assignments and an exam to do before I'm done. Not just done, SMASHED IT. I mean I could potentially still massively fuck up the situation but honestly I think I am home safe now. 14 assignments down, 3 to go.... Even if I write utter shit for these final assignments my work through the year SHOULD carry me through to a first. I AM OVER THE MOON. I know I shouldn't be counting my chickens just yet but on the whole I think I have this shit handled. It is a crazy feeling. I have completely changed my life from this time 12months ago and I am heading in a direction I actually want to go in. I am 90percent sure I will keep on my current job part time just for a bit of pocket money but the main focus of my life come September will be studying. I am so excited its unbelievable!!!

Shall we have a bit of boy talk? I have sort of stayed quiet about talking on the dude front because really there has been no one really worth mentioning recently but I just have to point out the weirdest thing happened today...

Round about November time I had a very short lived fling with a guy from uni. Only around a month or so, nothing serious at all so it was barely worth mentioning but basically what happened was this guy was originally half seeing a girl who ended up moving to Spain. In November I found myself suddenly available and i'm not sure if it was coincidence or if he was stalking me or what but within precisely 6 hours of my single status he had asked me out. I had liked him for a while, he is really clever, tall, fit, drives a bmw, ticked a lot of boxes really so anyway we had a bit of a fling for about a month or so but THEN Spain girl moved back to the uk!!! Now me being the totally sound girl that I am decided to take a step back at this point because I kind of thought really they should be together and she saw him first so I did the decent thing and backed away.....albeit onto my ex boyfriends cock but that's besides the point. ANYWAY uni boy and spain girl got together and are currently living happily ever after.

Now I still see uni boy obviously in uni but I have kind of kept my distance a bit because yano its a bit awkward isn't it when theres been a bit of activity. There was no bad feeling or anything I just said listen I think now spain girls back I am gonna just back off a bit and he was like oh ok sound and that was that. ANYWAY he is in one of my classes and today I shit you not he was staring at me for an hour and a half. Now I did have a bit of a cleavage situation on the go so that might have been it but honest to God he was STARING AT ME. I didn't make eye contact. We had to do this debate thing so he could have legitimately starred at me for like 20minutes while I was talking but this continued after I sat down and other people were talking. I put it down to the tits.

THEN after class I was standing outside having a ciggie and he walked right up to me, put his hands on my waist and tickled me and then asked me for a light. So I gave him my lighter and then when he was giving it back he did this weird hand holdy thing. What the hell is going on??!!! He is still with Spain girl. I know he is still with spain girl. He knows I know he is still with spain girl. What the fuck sort of outfit does he think i'm running here?!!!!!!!! I've been round the block enough times to know a come on when I see one. No. Just No.

Such a shame as well because he was a lovely lad with loads of potential but now I can't really be mates with him because he has automatically categorised himself as a cunt.

After the debacle with the ex I have managed to go a whole 3 weeks without speaking to him and I have managed to pull myself out of the fog now. After a plethora of perfectly nice but frightfully boring potential men I decided to implement a self imposed cock ban until September. I decided to focus on uni work, party my way through the summer and then in September I can aquaint myself with thousands of brand new, educated men. I am going to try and do my first full time uni year single because I don't want to waste the opportunity to be a slut. I haven't been a slut for ages and I think it's about time I rediscovered my calling.

So yes that's where i'm up to. Life is bloody fantastic right now and the future is looking epic

xxxx