Just compiling a list of the benefits I have discovered now I no longer live with an abusive prick.
1. I am about 600quid a month better off now I am not supporting him, which i have spent on a new pair of loubi's just because I fucking can.
2. I can watch whatever I want on telly without the remote being commando'd.
3. There is not a sweaty bastard on my couch playing fucking playstation for hours on end while I go to work.
4. No one has spat at me, strangled me or hurt me physically in anyway for 6 weeks
5. I have not had to fake a single orgasm
6. I can go out and get pissed whenever I want without anyone having a tantrum (never went out with my mates the entire time I was with him).
7. I can starfish the kingsize til my hearts content
8. I can plan girly holidays without a kick off.
9. I am safe in the knowledge my house that I bought and paid for myself is safe and won't get damaged again
10. I'm blogging again!
Yes that will do, 10 reasons life is better. Operation stay sober for a month is in full swing and I have to say I am feeling a LOT better. After what turned out to be a very heavy bank holiday weekend I found myself in the depths of a comedown which lasted the full week. I was about ready to pack myself a bag and take myself off to broadoak. My mother had been googling "bipolar disorder" and everything.
So as boring as it is, it is in the name of mental health that I must remain sober. At least for a month anyway until I am through this fucking trial. Oh the trial. The very word irritates me. Still pisses me off that he has pleaded not guilty and I am mentally prepared now that is he going to maintain this plea and take to the witness stand preaching that I am a crazy psychopath heroin addict pimp who brutally attacked him with a feather duster whilst riding a unicorn and he just had to give me a black eye to defend himself from the onslaught. What fucking ever. Not arsed any more what shit he spouts, I think iv said before the outcome of the trial is irrelevant to me. It won't affect me because he will no longer be anywhere near me. Granted it would be nice to see him finally held accountable for his actions. And he has attacked his sister plus his 6month pregnant ex girlfriend before me so there is no question in my mind he will go on to do it to the next poor cow that falls for his pathetic charm. This is his problem. He is very charming but he has nothing to back it up. Hel be 27 in November and from what I can gather he's living in some studentesque room on minimum wage with no driving licence and no hope of that ever changing. I think this is why he is the way he is but who cares we could psychoanalyse him all day. He is dangerous and that's the bottom line.
As for me I think I am starting to regain my mojo and I just hope that once this judge judy saga is out the way I can put this tit behind me and concentrate on finding an actual man with a decent job and a car and most of all RESPECT. No more shoppin in poundland for a fella, soz Abar you. No tar, ta ra, be gone 💋 xx
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Saturday, 30 August 2014
Tuesday, 26 August 2014
Plan!
Ok I need to come up with a plan to sort my shit out here because I'm ready to admit myself to the priory and quite frankly I can't afford 6k a week regardless of how fucking tranquil it is there.
Right so the plan. I need to start doing things I enjoy. And sadly, as much as I truly enjoy getting twatted, I have decided that this is about 50percent of my problem. Therefore number 1 on the plan list is no intoxication whatsoever until probably the end of the year. Well....for a few weeks at least.
Ok so no we have banned all getting shit faced I need to try and rediscover what exactly it is that I enjoy?
So far iv come up with going to the gym, dancing, looking pretty and laughing.
Iv also realised that Russell brand may be onto a winner with his meditation and inner peace so I think the plan is going to involve upping my gym useage, yoga, maybe join that meditation Buddhist class place (try new things?), Erm dance lessons? And, well, laughing I guess I could read some funny books or something. Comedy club? Oh I don't fucking know.
This is a very sketchy plan at this stage but I'm going to try and stick to it.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Right so the plan. I need to start doing things I enjoy. And sadly, as much as I truly enjoy getting twatted, I have decided that this is about 50percent of my problem. Therefore number 1 on the plan list is no intoxication whatsoever until probably the end of the year. Well....for a few weeks at least.
Ok so no we have banned all getting shit faced I need to try and rediscover what exactly it is that I enjoy?
So far iv come up with going to the gym, dancing, looking pretty and laughing.
Iv also realised that Russell brand may be onto a winner with his meditation and inner peace so I think the plan is going to involve upping my gym useage, yoga, maybe join that meditation Buddhist class place (try new things?), Erm dance lessons? And, well, laughing I guess I could read some funny books or something. Comedy club? Oh I don't fucking know.
This is a very sketchy plan at this stage but I'm going to try and stick to it.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Monday, 25 August 2014
Crisis
It would appear I have been on somewhat of a roller coaster these past few months, and I have come to realise today it is the biggest most scariest roller coaster I have ever been on In my life.
The most irritating part of this god forsaken ride is that just when you think it's levelled out and your nearly at the safe bit, there will be another even bigger scarier drop that comes from nowhere, and it is at the bottom of that bastard which I find myself today.
I saw him on Friday. I went out for drinks and he was over the road in a bar. He saw me. He came outside 5 times to look at me. I couldn't tell if it was a look of apologetic longing or a look of angry murder.
And this simple thing has sent me plummeting to depths I have never been to before.
People who do not understand about domestic violence ask innocently "why do you stay", "I don't get it". I can answer that question with great ease. The relationship completely chips away at your self worth, your self esteem, and your mind.
To the point that this absolutely excruciating pain I am suffering now and have been continuously for 5 weeks is just simply not worth it. It is easier to put up with the relationship and have periods of happiness than to go through the total trauma of ending it and having court cases and police and having no real way of coming to terms with anything because you are ripped out of the situation with no discussion, no answers, and no strength.
As a rational person I can still see that is probably the best way and when I come to the end of this journey I will ultimately realise it was the best way and that better days are ahead. But right now I would give anything to make this pain stop.
My mind is racing. I can't cobble together a rational thought.
Currently in my head are screams of "he spit at you, he strangled you, he forced you to have an abortion, he loved you, you miss him, you were happy, he called you fat, he cheated on you, he used you, you miss him"... Constantly 24hours a day. It's been like that since about last Monday. Right out of nowhere as I had been feeling a lot better up until then.
If you can imagine your mind being like that constantly, it might make more sense when I say I don't know how to make it stop or what to do. I am breathless and panicky because of the relentless craziness in my wonky little brain!
Plan is to ride it out for a couple of days. Went to my mums but had to come home coz she was pissed off with amount of sniffing I was doing In between muffled sobs. Everyone's getting fed up of me now. And this is where it could get dangerous for me as I will probably start to pretend like everything's fine again whilst at the same time withdrawing from all interaction with anyone.
Dear fucking god. If anyone has suffered from depression I would be interested in your comments as this is the worst iv ever felt in my whole life!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
The most irritating part of this god forsaken ride is that just when you think it's levelled out and your nearly at the safe bit, there will be another even bigger scarier drop that comes from nowhere, and it is at the bottom of that bastard which I find myself today.
I saw him on Friday. I went out for drinks and he was over the road in a bar. He saw me. He came outside 5 times to look at me. I couldn't tell if it was a look of apologetic longing or a look of angry murder.
And this simple thing has sent me plummeting to depths I have never been to before.
People who do not understand about domestic violence ask innocently "why do you stay", "I don't get it". I can answer that question with great ease. The relationship completely chips away at your self worth, your self esteem, and your mind.
To the point that this absolutely excruciating pain I am suffering now and have been continuously for 5 weeks is just simply not worth it. It is easier to put up with the relationship and have periods of happiness than to go through the total trauma of ending it and having court cases and police and having no real way of coming to terms with anything because you are ripped out of the situation with no discussion, no answers, and no strength.
As a rational person I can still see that is probably the best way and when I come to the end of this journey I will ultimately realise it was the best way and that better days are ahead. But right now I would give anything to make this pain stop.
My mind is racing. I can't cobble together a rational thought.
Currently in my head are screams of "he spit at you, he strangled you, he forced you to have an abortion, he loved you, you miss him, you were happy, he called you fat, he cheated on you, he used you, you miss him"... Constantly 24hours a day. It's been like that since about last Monday. Right out of nowhere as I had been feeling a lot better up until then.
If you can imagine your mind being like that constantly, it might make more sense when I say I don't know how to make it stop or what to do. I am breathless and panicky because of the relentless craziness in my wonky little brain!
Plan is to ride it out for a couple of days. Went to my mums but had to come home coz she was pissed off with amount of sniffing I was doing In between muffled sobs. Everyone's getting fed up of me now. And this is where it could get dangerous for me as I will probably start to pretend like everything's fine again whilst at the same time withdrawing from all interaction with anyone.
Dear fucking god. If anyone has suffered from depression I would be interested in your comments as this is the worst iv ever felt in my whole life!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Monday, 18 August 2014
A month has gone by...
Haven't written a blog in 10 days. From feeling fairly positive at the last blog my mind fell rather spectacularly to pieces. I believe I can attribute this to going out and getting fucking shitfaced the weekend before last.
Cut a long story short I ended up spending the evening with a dude I hadn't seen since school. My mate who I had gone out with had rather dramatically taken the knock in circo and ended up having to be escorted home by moi. I roped a lad in to help me get her home as she lives in a top floor flat with no lift and was I SHITE dragging her up the stairs but that's another story.
So anyway I put her to bed and then sat in her living room with my knight in shining armour and we spent the rest of the evening drinking her booze. Could have quite easily shagged him. But I didn't. If I had have done I would only be doing it to prove a point to myself.... You know the "haha get on me with a new cock" sort of carry on. Let's be honest I could go out and find someone to shag right now if I really wanted to. In the past a simple scroll through the friends list followed by a cheeky message on facebook has been known to scratch an itch on more than one occasion. But the last thing I want right now is casual meaningless sex with a lad I basically ignored for 7years, or as it turned out 5 years because I didn't even notice he left at 16. in the end I let him kip on my mates sofa and I went to bed.
The next morning I woke up...well I say the next morning I didn't get to bed until 6 and this was about half 9.....with the overwhelming feeling of "I want my mummy". The parental had rather selfishly, and in true pensioner style, buggered off to Shrewsbury of all fucking places because apparently they have a show on and I have family there. I was invited to go to this and in hindsight it probably would have been better for me but hey ho I digress.
So I text mummy dearest and asked her what time she would be home. Then I text stated that I was going to come over. And then I text again and asked her if she thought she would be home by 1pm. I triple text my mother. The poor woman must have sensed I was close to a breakdown and, presumably fearing I would slash my wrists, promptly hotfooted it in her fiat punto up the a49 and was back on Scouse soil by 11. What a woman.
I deposited my date for the night back in town where I found him and went straight to my mums where I proceeded to get under the duvet and sob quiet yet incredibly snotty tears. She came over to me and rubbed my back and asked me what had set me off and I simply told her I didn't know. She comforted me, and then said "look this will make you feel better.... CBS reality has got back to back judge judys on all day". And she was right, I did perk up a little.
I went to sleep about 7pm having had no sleep the previous night but alas when I awoke the next day the world seemed just as shit and I am afraid I was stuck In the deep depression obyss for 4, yes count them, FOUR, fucking days.
Friday came around and I went out for drinks with a friend I used to work with who has recently been through a similar situation. I say similar, hers was actually a lot fucking worse, but I can't tell you how helpful it was to see someone recovered further down the line from me. It also helped me get back in the frame of mind of, hang on, he's a fucking horrible nasty abusive cunt. So I felt much better on Friday and indeed have felt pretty much alright ever since. The odd wave of sadness now as again but touch would seem to be a lot more calm now.
3 main realisations have come now the fog has lifted.
1. The outcome of the trial has no bearing on my life whatsoever. Therefore there is not point in worrying about it
2. I did not love him. I loved the potential of what he could be rather than the reality of what he is (an abusive prick who's got skinny arms and legs)
3. I am still hot
Having said that I did decide to paint my sons bedroom navy blue today which probably isn't the most normal of colours to pick to paint a wall but who gives a fuck. It kept me occupied and I just hope in years to come we can smile and laugh about the time mummy was so fucked in the head she went mental with the dulux and painted a tardis.
Got to laugh ain't ya x x x
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Cut a long story short I ended up spending the evening with a dude I hadn't seen since school. My mate who I had gone out with had rather dramatically taken the knock in circo and ended up having to be escorted home by moi. I roped a lad in to help me get her home as she lives in a top floor flat with no lift and was I SHITE dragging her up the stairs but that's another story.
So anyway I put her to bed and then sat in her living room with my knight in shining armour and we spent the rest of the evening drinking her booze. Could have quite easily shagged him. But I didn't. If I had have done I would only be doing it to prove a point to myself.... You know the "haha get on me with a new cock" sort of carry on. Let's be honest I could go out and find someone to shag right now if I really wanted to. In the past a simple scroll through the friends list followed by a cheeky message on facebook has been known to scratch an itch on more than one occasion. But the last thing I want right now is casual meaningless sex with a lad I basically ignored for 7years, or as it turned out 5 years because I didn't even notice he left at 16. in the end I let him kip on my mates sofa and I went to bed.
The next morning I woke up...well I say the next morning I didn't get to bed until 6 and this was about half 9.....with the overwhelming feeling of "I want my mummy". The parental had rather selfishly, and in true pensioner style, buggered off to Shrewsbury of all fucking places because apparently they have a show on and I have family there. I was invited to go to this and in hindsight it probably would have been better for me but hey ho I digress.
So I text mummy dearest and asked her what time she would be home. Then I text stated that I was going to come over. And then I text again and asked her if she thought she would be home by 1pm. I triple text my mother. The poor woman must have sensed I was close to a breakdown and, presumably fearing I would slash my wrists, promptly hotfooted it in her fiat punto up the a49 and was back on Scouse soil by 11. What a woman.
I deposited my date for the night back in town where I found him and went straight to my mums where I proceeded to get under the duvet and sob quiet yet incredibly snotty tears. She came over to me and rubbed my back and asked me what had set me off and I simply told her I didn't know. She comforted me, and then said "look this will make you feel better.... CBS reality has got back to back judge judys on all day". And she was right, I did perk up a little.
I went to sleep about 7pm having had no sleep the previous night but alas when I awoke the next day the world seemed just as shit and I am afraid I was stuck In the deep depression obyss for 4, yes count them, FOUR, fucking days.
Friday came around and I went out for drinks with a friend I used to work with who has recently been through a similar situation. I say similar, hers was actually a lot fucking worse, but I can't tell you how helpful it was to see someone recovered further down the line from me. It also helped me get back in the frame of mind of, hang on, he's a fucking horrible nasty abusive cunt. So I felt much better on Friday and indeed have felt pretty much alright ever since. The odd wave of sadness now as again but touch would seem to be a lot more calm now.
3 main realisations have come now the fog has lifted.
1. The outcome of the trial has no bearing on my life whatsoever. Therefore there is not point in worrying about it
2. I did not love him. I loved the potential of what he could be rather than the reality of what he is (an abusive prick who's got skinny arms and legs)
3. I am still hot
Having said that I did decide to paint my sons bedroom navy blue today which probably isn't the most normal of colours to pick to paint a wall but who gives a fuck. It kept me occupied and I just hope in years to come we can smile and laugh about the time mummy was so fucked in the head she went mental with the dulux and painted a tardis.
Got to laugh ain't ya x x x
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Friday, 8 August 2014
Recognising abuse
This blog is all about how to recognise if your partner is an abusive gobshite. We all know that gobshites are rife, but how do you know if your gobshite is just a run of the mill cheater/liar/pisshead or if there are more sinister undertones which could ultimately result in your brutal murder?
The lady from the domestic violence charity came out with a "recognise the signs" booklet thing today and let me tell you boys and girls it was quite an eye opener. As I have said I have played down the abuse in my head and have wondered at times if I am being a drama queen as I suspect many in an abusive relationship have done themselves, so I am going to share with you the signs of domestic abuse. The ones with stars by them are the ones I have experienced
First up we have
PHYSICAL ABUSE
Punching/hitting you
Head butting you
*Spitting at/on you
Bound and/or gagged you
*Restraining you (ie holding you down*
Jumped up and down on
*Strangled/choked
*Pulling your hair/dragging you by your hair
*squeezing/ shaking/ shoving you
*using weapons/implements to hurt or scare you
*breaking bones
Burning you
Stabbed or cut
*Suffocated
*grabbing/throwing/pushing you
Abusing family pets
Biting you
*Locking you in or out of house or car
Force feeding you or withholding food
*reckless driving to frighten you
Pinching/nipping
Poisoning you
Shooting at you
Cutting off your hair
Running you over
Denying you of medical attention
Getting you tattooed
Taking your glasses/aid off you
Death/murder
Trapping fingers in a door
*Grabbing by the throat
*Destroying your property
*Criminal damage
*forcing you to have an abortion
Now out of the 34 behaviours listed here (and this list is by no means exhaustive) I had experienced 14 of them. Drama queen my fucking arse.
Next up we have a just as harmful VERBAL ABUSE
*name calling/swearing at you
*constant insults
*nasty hurtful comments
*criticising
*correcting everything you say
*refusing to listen to what you have to say
*silence/sulking
*not allowing you to have a voice or opinion
*only engaging in conversation when they choose
*blocking and diverting when you talk
*screamin and shouting at you
Leaving nasty messages notes texts phone or fb
*Laughing/making fun of you
*Withholding discussion approval and appreciation
*sneering at you
*shaming and humiliating you in front of others with put downs disguised as jokes
Now here I had experienced all bar one (the nasty texts/messages/ahem er blogs were always more my area)
Nasty hurtful comments would include calling me fat. He even cheated on me once citing "you got fat" as the reason.
It took me a year to realise I wasn't fat and he was in fact an abusive cunt but you can imagine the way my self esteem and confidence felt after that
The next one is what I would consider to be the worst of them all EMOTIONAL ABUSE
*telling you or making you think you are crazy
*playing mind games
*saying it was your fault they did it
* threatening suicide
*blaming the abuse on jealousy afraid you will go off with someone else
*making you feel sorry for them crying etc saying they are stressed
*minimising the abuse (it was only...)
*threats (if you leave me il get the kids taken off you etc)
hiding your phone/keys etc
Telling you he only does it because
He loves you
Exhaustion not allowing you to sleep.
Emotional and verbal abuse are the ones that fuck with your head the most and leave the long lasting scars that no one can say and can take years to heal.
We also have FINANCIAL ABUSE
Controlling all the money
Not allowing you to see statements
Withholding money/cards
Preventing you from getting a job
Putting bills in your name and then not paying
Not allowing you to have own bank account
Giving you an allowance which is not enough
Making you account for every penny you spend
*Not paying bills but spending money on themselves
Not working themselves but force you out to work
Forcing you to commit crime for money
*Stealing money from you
SPIRITUAL ABUSE
Preventing you from practising your beliefs
Forced marriage
Forcing the kids to be their religion without ur consent
Forcing you to go against ur beliefs
Using religion as an excuse for abuse
Arrange marriage
Femal genital mutilation
And finally SEXUAL ABUSE
Sex on demand
Forced to watch or re enact porn
Making you do things u don't wanna do
Violent hurtful sadistic sex
Making you feel guilty when your not in the mood
Sex that causes injury
Taking pics against ur will
Rape
*Name calling frigid whore slut slag
*excessive jealousy
Keeping you preggers
Unwanted touching
Sexual assault
Forcing you to do group sex etc
Forcing sex after physical assault
Forced use of objects
Forcing you to strip or stripping you
Giving you an std
*accusing you of dressing like a slut to attract other men
*accusing you of flirting or cheating
Now the last 3 I didn't get much of. I was never in danger of financial abuse on account of the fact I am a self sufficient home owning car owning fucking super queen and he is a minimum wage barman with no hope. Spirituality never came into it and let's face it we all know I'm a horny bastard and would enjoy sex in any capacity but you get the picture.
All of the above are WRONG and you should NOT ACCEPT it.
I saw a quote somewhere that said you can't make people respect you but you can choose not to be disrespected. So if you recognise any of the behaviours in your gobshite then the red flags are there and I would strongly advise you to abandon that fucking ship as fast as your princess heels will carry you
Xxx
Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
The lady from the domestic violence charity came out with a "recognise the signs" booklet thing today and let me tell you boys and girls it was quite an eye opener. As I have said I have played down the abuse in my head and have wondered at times if I am being a drama queen as I suspect many in an abusive relationship have done themselves, so I am going to share with you the signs of domestic abuse. The ones with stars by them are the ones I have experienced
First up we have
PHYSICAL ABUSE
Punching/hitting you
Head butting you
*Spitting at/on you
Bound and/or gagged you
*Restraining you (ie holding you down*
Jumped up and down on
*Strangled/choked
*Pulling your hair/dragging you by your hair
*squeezing/ shaking/ shoving you
*using weapons/implements to hurt or scare you
*breaking bones
Burning you
Stabbed or cut
*Suffocated
*grabbing/throwing/pushing you
Abusing family pets
Biting you
*Locking you in or out of house or car
Force feeding you or withholding food
*reckless driving to frighten you
Pinching/nipping
Poisoning you
Shooting at you
Cutting off your hair
Running you over
Denying you of medical attention
Getting you tattooed
Taking your glasses/aid off you
Death/murder
Trapping fingers in a door
*Grabbing by the throat
*Destroying your property
*Criminal damage
*forcing you to have an abortion
Now out of the 34 behaviours listed here (and this list is by no means exhaustive) I had experienced 14 of them. Drama queen my fucking arse.
Next up we have a just as harmful VERBAL ABUSE
*name calling/swearing at you
*constant insults
*nasty hurtful comments
*criticising
*correcting everything you say
*refusing to listen to what you have to say
*silence/sulking
*not allowing you to have a voice or opinion
*only engaging in conversation when they choose
*blocking and diverting when you talk
*screamin and shouting at you
Leaving nasty messages notes texts phone or fb
*Laughing/making fun of you
*Withholding discussion approval and appreciation
*sneering at you
*shaming and humiliating you in front of others with put downs disguised as jokes
Now here I had experienced all bar one (the nasty texts/messages/ahem er blogs were always more my area)
Nasty hurtful comments would include calling me fat. He even cheated on me once citing "you got fat" as the reason.
It took me a year to realise I wasn't fat and he was in fact an abusive cunt but you can imagine the way my self esteem and confidence felt after that
The next one is what I would consider to be the worst of them all EMOTIONAL ABUSE
*telling you or making you think you are crazy
*playing mind games
*saying it was your fault they did it
* threatening suicide
*blaming the abuse on jealousy afraid you will go off with someone else
*making you feel sorry for them crying etc saying they are stressed
*minimising the abuse (it was only...)
*threats (if you leave me il get the kids taken off you etc)
hiding your phone/keys etc
Telling you he only does it because
He loves you
Exhaustion not allowing you to sleep.
Emotional and verbal abuse are the ones that fuck with your head the most and leave the long lasting scars that no one can say and can take years to heal.
We also have FINANCIAL ABUSE
Controlling all the money
Not allowing you to see statements
Withholding money/cards
Preventing you from getting a job
Putting bills in your name and then not paying
Not allowing you to have own bank account
Giving you an allowance which is not enough
Making you account for every penny you spend
*Not paying bills but spending money on themselves
Not working themselves but force you out to work
Forcing you to commit crime for money
*Stealing money from you
SPIRITUAL ABUSE
Preventing you from practising your beliefs
Forced marriage
Forcing the kids to be their religion without ur consent
Forcing you to go against ur beliefs
Using religion as an excuse for abuse
Arrange marriage
Femal genital mutilation
And finally SEXUAL ABUSE
Sex on demand
Forced to watch or re enact porn
Making you do things u don't wanna do
Violent hurtful sadistic sex
Making you feel guilty when your not in the mood
Sex that causes injury
Taking pics against ur will
Rape
*Name calling frigid whore slut slag
*excessive jealousy
Keeping you preggers
Unwanted touching
Sexual assault
Forcing you to do group sex etc
Forcing sex after physical assault
Forced use of objects
Forcing you to strip or stripping you
Giving you an std
*accusing you of dressing like a slut to attract other men
*accusing you of flirting or cheating
Now the last 3 I didn't get much of. I was never in danger of financial abuse on account of the fact I am a self sufficient home owning car owning fucking super queen and he is a minimum wage barman with no hope. Spirituality never came into it and let's face it we all know I'm a horny bastard and would enjoy sex in any capacity but you get the picture.
All of the above are WRONG and you should NOT ACCEPT it.
I saw a quote somewhere that said you can't make people respect you but you can choose not to be disrespected. So if you recognise any of the behaviours in your gobshite then the red flags are there and I would strongly advise you to abandon that fucking ship as fast as your princess heels will carry you
Xxx
Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Wednesday, 6 August 2014
A new chapter
Wednesday- 3 weeks since the incident.
He only went and pleaded not fucking guilty didn't he. Not. Fucking. Guilty.
Words can't express the fewwwwmage that I have experienced these last few days, however in a way this is just what I needed to show me in fuck technicolor what an arrogant cocky twat this prick actually is.
What fairy story is he possibly going to come up with in court?
I spent Friday pacing around the house and then invited my friends over to drink copious amounts of wine and discuss at length what an absolute gobshite we are dealing with here. Decided I'm going to get #justiceforsinglegal wrist bands made. Colour co-ordinate all of my supporters in the court. Maybe release some fucking balloons outside. Fuck this cunt. Fuck him and fuck anyone that's got the remotest sympathy for him.
Police reckon this is a tactic used by gobshites in the hope I won't turn up in court to give evidence or I will drop the charges. Am I fuck dropping the charges. I'm going to have my day in court and finish this little power ranger off. In my drunken rage I screenshotted the messages I had off his ex telling me he beat her up when she was 6 months pregnant and sent it to him. Oops sorry was that a can opening and worms flying everywhere? Said to him you have been knocking women around for years just because no one has reported you in the past doesn't mean you are getting away with it.
Shouldn't have done it really but it just felt so good.
Spent the weekend in my pyjamas watching Scandal on sky box sets (god send) and being hysterical. Noticed he has become friends with his ex girlfriend (not the one he battered) and also another girl he used to shag who looks like she was born in a fucking fire. Seriously, think a Halloween witch crossed with an Afghan hound. So he is literally reaching out to anything with a fanny now. Love me love me give me validation. Fuck off and die you wanker.
On Monday I made an executive decision to rejoin the gym. Physical exercise releases endorphins plus it's wall to wall cock in there so it seemed like a step forward.
And today I made the big decision to ask the police to enforce the restraining order as part of the sentencing. So that's it now he will never be able to contact me ever again. I'm a little sad about this however I'm fed up of following my heart, my heart is a wanker. So it has been put on mute and iv decided to listen to my head instead. So he and his family have been blocked on facebook and so all that is left to do is get through court on 23rd September and have his belongings removed from my house.
Went to see the psychic last night and fuck me it was unreal. Was very sceptical but from the outset she was amazing. Told me my nan was there and she could see a relationship has ended in a terrible way. Asked me if I was getting divorced and when I said no she said well I can see this ending in a court with solicitors? She said she could sense violence and abuse and other stuff she knew my mate had chicken pox even though she had just literally text me to tell me that as I was walking up the path. And that I had bought myself a bunch of flowers and that I had rejoined the gym and literally just loads of mad stuff. It has made me feel so much more positive she was telling me that my nan was fuming and to stay strong and she knew about a dream I had had when I was 16 it was just unbelievable. She also told me that I just need to get through September and then amazing things are going to happen to me. And before I went in all she had was my first name. So believe what you want but this woman has given me the strength to see a future for myself and has given me so much comfort. I went out for lunch with my mum today and I can feel myself slowly returning back. Phoenix from the ashes. Fuck yeah #fistpump
X x x
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
He only went and pleaded not fucking guilty didn't he. Not. Fucking. Guilty.
Words can't express the fewwwwmage that I have experienced these last few days, however in a way this is just what I needed to show me in fuck technicolor what an arrogant cocky twat this prick actually is.
What fairy story is he possibly going to come up with in court?
I spent Friday pacing around the house and then invited my friends over to drink copious amounts of wine and discuss at length what an absolute gobshite we are dealing with here. Decided I'm going to get #justiceforsinglegal wrist bands made. Colour co-ordinate all of my supporters in the court. Maybe release some fucking balloons outside. Fuck this cunt. Fuck him and fuck anyone that's got the remotest sympathy for him.
Police reckon this is a tactic used by gobshites in the hope I won't turn up in court to give evidence or I will drop the charges. Am I fuck dropping the charges. I'm going to have my day in court and finish this little power ranger off. In my drunken rage I screenshotted the messages I had off his ex telling me he beat her up when she was 6 months pregnant and sent it to him. Oops sorry was that a can opening and worms flying everywhere? Said to him you have been knocking women around for years just because no one has reported you in the past doesn't mean you are getting away with it.
Shouldn't have done it really but it just felt so good.
Spent the weekend in my pyjamas watching Scandal on sky box sets (god send) and being hysterical. Noticed he has become friends with his ex girlfriend (not the one he battered) and also another girl he used to shag who looks like she was born in a fucking fire. Seriously, think a Halloween witch crossed with an Afghan hound. So he is literally reaching out to anything with a fanny now. Love me love me give me validation. Fuck off and die you wanker.
On Monday I made an executive decision to rejoin the gym. Physical exercise releases endorphins plus it's wall to wall cock in there so it seemed like a step forward.
And today I made the big decision to ask the police to enforce the restraining order as part of the sentencing. So that's it now he will never be able to contact me ever again. I'm a little sad about this however I'm fed up of following my heart, my heart is a wanker. So it has been put on mute and iv decided to listen to my head instead. So he and his family have been blocked on facebook and so all that is left to do is get through court on 23rd September and have his belongings removed from my house.
Went to see the psychic last night and fuck me it was unreal. Was very sceptical but from the outset she was amazing. Told me my nan was there and she could see a relationship has ended in a terrible way. Asked me if I was getting divorced and when I said no she said well I can see this ending in a court with solicitors? She said she could sense violence and abuse and other stuff she knew my mate had chicken pox even though she had just literally text me to tell me that as I was walking up the path. And that I had bought myself a bunch of flowers and that I had rejoined the gym and literally just loads of mad stuff. It has made me feel so much more positive she was telling me that my nan was fuming and to stay strong and she knew about a dream I had had when I was 16 it was just unbelievable. She also told me that I just need to get through September and then amazing things are going to happen to me. And before I went in all she had was my first name. So believe what you want but this woman has given me the strength to see a future for myself and has given me so much comfort. I went out for lunch with my mum today and I can feel myself slowly returning back. Phoenix from the ashes. Fuck yeah #fistpump
X x x
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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